A whole new generation is hearing about Michael Jordan now that he's constantly contrasted with Lebron James. High school seniors were three years old when Jordan won his last NBA championship so for them, he only exists on highlight reels while we got to actually witness the greatest basketball player to ever play the game. Also, kids today don't have Saturday morning cartoons to watch like we did. I remember waking up at 6am on a Saturday morning to watch shows like the Gummy Bears, Slimer and the Real Ghostbusters, and the Smurfs. As I matured, I preferred the deeper messages offered by the sages of Saved By The Bell and California Dreams. Who can forget Jessie Spano's addiction to speed and her inspiring rendition of the Pointer Sister's "I'm So Excited"? Crack is whack Jessie. It leads to Showgirls.
Not only was my generation exposed to these half-hour gems of episodic bliss, but we also got to reap the joys of the action figure tie-ins. Oh the hours we would spend memorizing the combination of twists and turns it would take to transform a mack truck into Optimus Prime. Do you remember the imagination it took to pretend your parents weren't just cheap and that GO-BOTS really were as good as Transformers? GI-JOE, Thundercats, Voltron, M.A.S.K, Jem and the Holograms all had an impact on me one way or another. Kids today just don't have the same opportunities to watch cool tv shows and play with cool toys.
Oh sure, now that Transformers is a movie franchise, HASBRO released a new line of toys but these are low quality, plastic junk. The Transformers we played with were solid metal. It seems like the main shows that little kids watch today are of the Spongebob and Dora the Explorer variety. Are the toys from these shows robots that turn into something useful like a tape deck or realistic gun? I bet not but Dora sure has a nifty backpack. That screams fun.
My wife is floating the Edisto River tomorrow and she needed an innertube. So we did what every other red blooded American does when such a need arises and headed straight to Wal Mart. While she was checking out the pool section, I was hanging out with the toys. This was around 9pm so I needn't worry about looking creepy since most kids should be in bed. I flipped through stacks and stacks of new Transformer and GI JOE figures. While I think they're junk, I can still find the time to appreciate them. Heck, I still head straight for the toy isle every time I visit Walgreens. Sad but true.
While searching for the ultimate inner tube, Kristen found something I had to behold. She dragged me two isles away and to feast my eyes upon this. Yes, it is a game called Doggie Doo and the object is to feed the dog and watch him go doo doo. I almost cried. If ever there was a game in line with my sense of humor and maturity level, this was it. Doggie Doo is a complete rip off of the Play-Doh Fun Factory Set but if you're going to rip off a classic, this is the way to do it. Scatalogical canines are fun no matter what the context. Because of this find, I've had to rethink my entire view of kids today. I no longer feel sorry for them, I envy them. I got to play with the HE-MAN slime pit and kids today get to play with turds. Sure, they don't have Zach Morris or AC Slater. They don't understand that "knowing is half the battle" or the gravitas of the "power of grayskull". But just like any kid in the history of time, they understand feces.
Not only was my generation exposed to these half-hour gems of episodic bliss, but we also got to reap the joys of the action figure tie-ins. Oh the hours we would spend memorizing the combination of twists and turns it would take to transform a mack truck into Optimus Prime. Do you remember the imagination it took to pretend your parents weren't just cheap and that GO-BOTS really were as good as Transformers? GI-JOE, Thundercats, Voltron, M.A.S.K, Jem and the Holograms all had an impact on me one way or another. Kids today just don't have the same opportunities to watch cool tv shows and play with cool toys.
Oh sure, now that Transformers is a movie franchise, HASBRO released a new line of toys but these are low quality, plastic junk. The Transformers we played with were solid metal. It seems like the main shows that little kids watch today are of the Spongebob and Dora the Explorer variety. Are the toys from these shows robots that turn into something useful like a tape deck or realistic gun? I bet not but Dora sure has a nifty backpack. That screams fun.
My wife is floating the Edisto River tomorrow and she needed an innertube. So we did what every other red blooded American does when such a need arises and headed straight to Wal Mart. While she was checking out the pool section, I was hanging out with the toys. This was around 9pm so I needn't worry about looking creepy since most kids should be in bed. I flipped through stacks and stacks of new Transformer and GI JOE figures. While I think they're junk, I can still find the time to appreciate them. Heck, I still head straight for the toy isle every time I visit Walgreens. Sad but true.
While searching for the ultimate inner tube, Kristen found something I had to behold. She dragged me two isles away and to feast my eyes upon this. Yes, it is a game called Doggie Doo and the object is to feed the dog and watch him go doo doo. I almost cried. If ever there was a game in line with my sense of humor and maturity level, this was it. Doggie Doo is a complete rip off of the Play-Doh Fun Factory Set but if you're going to rip off a classic, this is the way to do it. Scatalogical canines are fun no matter what the context. Because of this find, I've had to rethink my entire view of kids today. I no longer feel sorry for them, I envy them. I got to play with the HE-MAN slime pit and kids today get to play with turds. Sure, they don't have Zach Morris or AC Slater. They don't understand that "knowing is half the battle" or the gravitas of the "power of grayskull". But just like any kid in the history of time, they understand feces.
And that is good.
No comments:
Post a Comment