So I drove into work in record time which is always most excellent. I walked into the office and what doth appear before my eyes in front of my office door? A bunch of freaking sweet balloons. One of which happened to be in the shape of a dinosaur. Seriously, who doesn't like dinosaurs? Well color me excited because we named him Rufus and he became my own personal secretary for the day. Chrisgina (from the last blog) got me the balloons and then she also got me a dozen donuts. I love donuts. I especially love donuts when the only reason I get them is because I turn 32. Could this day get any better? OF COURSE IT COULD. At approximately 8:35, one of my student workers who we'll call Cake walked in with a gigantic basket of absolute garbage. We had brownies and chocolate covered pretzels, and chocolate chip cookies, and M&M's. My lovely wife sent that along. EPIC. What else could possibly go right? I know, one of our senior fellows, Writtainy, brought me a Diet Coke and a king sized Twix bar. Sweet Jesus this is going to be a heck of a day.
I must point out that I found it necessary to have a South Park soundboard on my computer screen at all times so that I could immediately pull the following out whenever I told someone to do something and they asked me why they should: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25HYETWejlI I'm immature and a child of the 90's so just roll with it and love me for who I am.
At lunch, me and another friend who I'll call Mohendra, met for pizza at Andolinni's down the street from our office. She got me a fun writing utensil for my office which was awesome. More importantly, she got me two king sized Reese's Peanut Butter Cup candy bars. I had eight peanut butter cups to work with here. Let's recap my food intake to this point shall we? Two bacon biscuits, a donut and a half, four twix bars, a gigantor slice of pizza and a crap load of Reese's. I haven't had this much sugar since 1992. I didn't have the wherewithal to open the candy basket at this point. What did I have? The energy and mental capacity of one Cornholio from the old Beavis and Butthead days. So of course I found a Cornholio soundboard full of his quotable quotes and played them on full blast. I need tp for MY bunghole mother effer.
I came back from lunch to find my office completely decorated with Happy Birthday signs and ribbons and such. Apparently Rufus participated in my sugar coma and passed out on guard duty. It turns out that someone we'll name Lara was the culprit in this one. She came and admitted as much to me later. I thought it was fun and games until she asked to borrow a red Sharpie and then pretended to color in my bald spot while I was sitting at my computer. Well played Lara, well played.
So we get towards the end of the day and all I want to do is go out for a couple of drinks before I meet Kristen and some friends for dinner. Everyone sold me down the river except for the new Chris Noland drinking buddy core. Me, Chrisgina, Feather and Yimmy headed to Kingstreet Grill for beers. Yimmy and I had Guinness because we are manly men. Chrisgina had some bottle whose name I forget but I'm pretty sure she took a swing at my head with it at some point. Feather drank wine. Feather was lame (that's actually a lie, she's more or less one of the coolest people I know).
We had a great time until I realized that surely I would have heard from Kristen since it was after 6:30pm. I had no service on my phone so I went outside and rebooted the old Iphone. It came back up with six text messages, three voicemails and (I'm not kidding) 48 emails. AT&T really sucks out here in the holy city. Kristen was on her way and we were meeting friends at the Blind Tiger. I asked Feather if I could walk there or if I should drive since she was a bit more acquainted with the city. Feather said it would be no problem for me to walk. Feather was wrong. I was expecting to walk a couple of blocks. Turns out it was two miles (in drinking terms but in actuality about a quarter of a mile but whatever). I started booking it.
Kristen and I met up with our friends Maggie and Richard for dinner and drinks. I haven't seen Richard in a couple of months because he's trying to be all corporate and get an MBA. I was shocked because he's gone through a transformation in the last two months and somehow now looks exactly like Josh Groban. He should probably be on Glee. We had a blast at dinner and I'm glad we got to hang out with them. I was somewhat shmammered so I picked up the tab on my own birthday. It's how I roll which basically is another word for awesome (and by word I mean phrase or something). Richard and I agreed that it was time for another man date. We haven't had one since we went and saw The Expendables. I think we've cooled off enough since then to have another one. Maybe we'll drink a bunch of beer at his house and watch a MacGruber marathon. MACGRUBER!!!
After dinner, I walked Kristen back to her car because I'm chivalrous and it was on the way to mine. We drove back to our humble abode. The most important part of the day had yet to come. I HAD TO KNOW, how many people had wished me happy birthday on Facebook. I was overwhelmed at how many of my friends and pseudo friends thought of me when they saw my name pop up on their daily Facebook birthday list. Thanks guys. It actually was really cool to see and Deanne Arnold even said she wished I'd write these blogs more often. Hopefully I can handle up on that because these are so much fun to write, even if I don't edit nearly enough.
Alright, OD is back in his bed and Jeffrey has already been out to pee so let's keep our fingers crossed for tonight (I also have mention that just as I type this, OD just let a huge one rip and it is freaking foul). This was a great birthday start to finish. Look out for next year because it will be 11-11-11 and I'll be 33. Watch out world.
