I need you to understand how monumental this moment is for me. We've had Jeffrey since August. We got him once our last little pomeranian Pee Wee passed (RESPECT). Jeffrey has what we refer to as a little bit of a self control problem. He pees and poos on rugs, carpets, tile, brick, wood, fabric, sheets, comforters, pillows, discarded underwear, OD, and my stomach one unfortunate night when I was in a deep slumber. Basically if it's inside, he'll go to the bathroom on it. When you take him outside, he goes and sits in the grass and stares at you until you open the door again so he can run inside and go doo doo. I've tried to wait the little bastard out. I waited an hour and a half once but he wins every time. He's like that deer in the staring contest with Will Ferrell as Robert Goulet on SNL (look it up).
All that to say that I was stoked when he woke me up acting like he wanted to go outside. I stumble down the stairs with him under my arm. I wish I could explain to you how manly I look walking around with a four pound pomeranian tucked under my arm. We get to the backyard and I drop him and prepare to behold the maturation of Jeffrey before my eyes. However this glorious moment is ruined...by two kids running and playing by the little pond outside my little four foot picket fence. Jeffrey forgets about his responsibilities and starts running toward the fence. Since this is a picket fence and Jeffrey is the size of a rat, he runs full speed through a space between two of the boards and takes off barking at the kids.
One of these little guys sees Jeffrey and freaks. The dog looks like a little pygmy lion and if I were six years old, I'd probably freak out too. He takes off running away from Jeffrey which just infuses the dog with more of a purpose and he starts barking louder and running faster. I hop the fence running after Jeffrey and yelling at the kid to stop. Now if you're one of my neighbors (most of which are parents) looking out of your window, all you see is a small child scared to death running away from an angry grown up who is chasing after him and yelling at him to stop. Jeffrey is so small and close to the ground that he's more or less invisible. Not a good situation for me. Anyway, the kid finally relented and I caught up to them. I hip checked Jeffrey into another neighbor's fence and kind of put him in a choke hold because he's a wily devil and I can't let him get away. I look at the kid and tell him I'm sorry and then drag Jeffrey kicking and screaming (tucked under my armpit with his tongue hanging out all cute and stuff) back to my house praying to God that Chris Hansen isn't waiting in my kitchen with a TV crew.
I had enough of pomeranians and tee tee so I needed to do something manly. I went and saw THOR which was awesome. It made me want to work out and get a sweet hammer. I'll let you know if either happens.
