Blades of Glory

In an ideal world, I would get my haircut by a man named Fred who wears a white coat and owns a barber shop with a bonafide barber's pole outside the door. I would sit in a real barber's chair with a big blue cushion and a chrome foot pedal that I can flip around with my feet. There would be a leather strop hanging off the back of the chair so Fred can polish his straight razor before he gives me a hot shave after giving me 'the usual.' I grew up in the south so there would most likely be several heads o'deer hanging on the walls above the row of chairs you wait your turn in while reading the latest Sports Illustrated or Outdoor. If you're like me, you probably migrate to the Highlights magazine. I checked and the hidden picture puzzle is still on page 19 even 25 years after the first time I found the broomstick hidden in the bannister. Fred would ask me how my wife is and how work was going. I'd mumble that they're doing fine while covertly listening to the conversations going on either side of me because they are much more interesting. Afterwards, I'd pay my ten bucks, tell Fred I'd see him next time and be on my way. However, my world isn't completely idealistic. Those places don't exist in too many places and the ones that do cost a lot more than ten bucks. Besides, as has been pointed out many times by many people, I have thin hair. If I had an extra mirror, I could cut my own hair with the clippers I share with Jeffrey the pomeranian. So instead of Fred, I recently paid a visit to Great Clips and had the opportunity to have my hair great clipped by Kayla.

Did you know that all 'stylists' at Great Clips are trained by the same crack team of corporate stylist consultants from the Great Clips headquarters. I had no idea. But you know what? Kayla was there to educate me on the finer points of a Great Clips haircut. I got a complete history of this corporal styling chain. Not only that, but Kayla would take notes about what they did to my hair and enter it into their computer so that I wouldn't have to remember what they did the next time I came in. Talk about your clever marketing ploy. I don't have to remember two on the sides and three on top ever again. Kayla hooked me up. You'd think that I was already hooked on this place. No, I needed a little something extra, a little lagniappe if you will. Kayla came through like the master follicle manipulator she is. She gave me a FREE promotional chap stick. DONE. I've already been back and can't wait to go for a third time. I don't need Fred and his archaic strops and blades. I've got corporate trained stylists and chap stick. Beat that with a stick.